5.19.2009

A Complete 180

Well, if you have spent one iota of time on this blog you know 3 things: 1) I like music, 2) I am not funny, and 3) I am a conservative and by extension am not a big fan of Obama's policies (like the man, just not anything he does). But, lately I have started to think maybe I am too hard on the man. Let me explain.

For the past 8 years, the left has painted W. as an imbecile, a bigot, a murderer, a trampler of the Constitution, and a mentally deranged man. While some of that may be true, his list of mental and psychological disorders pales in comparison to that of our new President. So, maybe it is unfair to speak so harshly about President Obama when all he is doing is making decisions and statements that are guided by genuine mental health issues, and not because he is an imbecile, a bigot, a murderer, a trampler of the Constitution, and a mentally deranged man like his policies would indicate. Let's take a look at a list of psychological disorders and phobias that Obama has and try to determine if he is an ideologue and a sophist or if he just has issues.

1. Schizophrenia - yes, the man has multiple personalities. He talks like a conservative and acts like a drunken liberal. Just the other day he said that the nation's debt and the spending pattern we are on (because of his policies, not Bush's) are unsustainable. Well, sir, stop it then. See, he has two opinions.

2. Amnesia - he sat in Reverend Wright's church for 20 years and never heard ANYTHING inflammatory, racist, or Anti-American? Highly unlikely. I think Obama just forgot. That's it.

3. Dyslexia - when he said that he had visited 57 states and only had 3 to go during the campaign. He knows there are 50 states, he is just dyslexic

The rest are phobias, but I think they explain a lot about his policies.

4. Xenophobia - fear of people different than you. This is why he is anti-business. He has a fear of executives that go out and accomplish something and make money for themselves. Self-reliance and business ambition are foreign to Obama. He only knows dependence and political ambition. But, luckily for our President, this fear also rules out soteriophobia, which is the fear of dependence on others. He is all for that. 300 million Americans should all depend on the wealthiest 5% for our well-being.

5. Allodoxaphobia - fear of opinions. All politicians have this. That is why they only surround themselves with and listen to like-minded people, like Obama has and every other politician.

6. Chemophobia - fear of chemicals. I have never seen a man so afraid of CO2. He thinks it is going to wipe us all out. So, we should all stop breathing, so we can live.

7. Chrometophobia - fear of money. That is why he never handles or deals with real money. All the money he spends "for us" is completely imaginary. We don't have it. It doesn't exist. It's not because he has a fear of debt. He just has a fear of money. So he spends trillions that don't actually exist.

8. Logophobia - fear of words. "Global War On Terror" "Terrorist Attacks" "Pro-Life" are all very scary to Obama. Let's say "Overseas Contingency Acts" "Man-made Disasters" and "Right Wing Extremists" instead. That sounds much better.

Let's talk about his preposterous healthcare proposal. It takes a lot of fears to come up with something this delusional.

9. Monophobia - fear of being alone. This has two sides. He does not like being the "only Western country" without a failing government healthcare program. All of the other western powers have bankrupted, inefficient, poor healthcare. Why shouldn't we? The other side is what he is planning on doing to doctor's offices. He intends on packing them with people because of a shortage of funds and doctors. That way we will never have peace and privacy at the doctor. We will all be together.

10. Neopharmaphobia - fear of new drugs. Drug companies are evil. At least that is what the left and Obama tell us. New drugs are bad. We should all stick with penicillin and wheatgrass. So, Obama plans on penalizing drug companies and demonizing them.

11. Opiophobia - fear of medical doctors' experience of prescribing needed pain medications for patients. The government should do it. Not medical doctors.

12. Iatrophobia - fear of going to the doctor. He assumes that we all share this fear with him, so he wants to set up government healthcare so that the doctors will be so overbooked and so poorly trained and so unmotivated that we just won't want to go visit the doctor. But, the good news here is that we know he does not have macrophobia, which is the fear of long waits. His policies indicate the opposite. He loves long waits. Government healthcare provides long, long waits for all Americans, rich or poor, when they want to go to the doctor. Perfect.

His other policies indicate even more phobias.

13. Plutophobia - fear of wealth. Wealthy people are bad. They are all greedy and selfish and don't care about anyone else. So, Obama's policies and tax hikes are taking all wealth creation right out of the country. Problem solved. Which I guess shows that he does not suffer from peniaphobia, the fear of poverty. He has seen every single one of his policies acted out in other countries throughout history. They have never worked and have, without exception, created poverty. Yet, he is still moving forward with that agenda, which shows he is not peniaphobic.

14. Motorphobia - fear of automobiles. Today he raised emissions standards and mpg standards (yes the same standards that have contributed to financial woes already) on auto makers in the US. Since raising standards like this and favoring unions (check out the illegal move he did in the Chrysler bankruptcy filing by putting unions ahead of secured lenders - oops), he is killing the auto companies. But, because he is afraid of autos, I guess that makes sense.

15. Hoplophobia - fear of firearms. This one is self explanatory.

16. Megalophobia - fear of big things. This one he does not have. Look what he has done to the size of the Federal government, the deficit, etc. They are ginormous. Which shows that he does suffer from phronemophobia, which is the fear of thinking. If he thought for one hot minute about what he was doing and compared it with governments in the past, he would see that he is running our country into the ground.

Now, I realize that Obama is not the only world leader or US President to suffer from these things, but I think by looking at these things, his policies and ideas come into focus. He is not an imbecile. He just has issues and fears. Like the rest of us. Here are a few of mine, lest we think that I am picking on poor Obama.

1. Levophobia - fear of things on the left side of the body. But not my body, the body of government.

2. Sinistrophobia - fear of things to the left (but I am strangely not afraid of i blog, who is to the left of me.)

3. Politicophobia - fear or abnormal dislike of politicians. Left or right. I don't care. I don't like them or trust them.

4. Acrophobia - fear of heights.

5. Scorpiophobia - fear of scorpions. OK, I made this one up. But it should be one. Those things are ooky.

To find your own fears, or to come up with a witty rebuttal of Republican fears, check out my new favorite site, phobialist.com

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

In my mind's eye I can see iblog writhing on the floor foaming at the mouth at that entry. Once she comes to her senses with a shot of nitroglycerin into her heart she will respond in kind. That should be choice!

Way to throw gasoline on the fire!

Kevin and Camille Jensen said...

That was my intention. If I didn't throw gas on the fire, what purpose would I serve?