1) Force them to listen to the music of The Eagles. That seems to kill anything (kind of like Clorox)
2) Show the ants an Adam Sandler movie. They might then kill themselves
3) Lay carpet in our backyard (maybe they will be fooled into thinking that is the house)
4) Train Molly to hunt/eat anything in the order Hymenoptera (which would include wasps, bees, and ants)
5) Pour a trail of sugar to our neighbor's house
6) Build up an immunity to pesticide - then douse our domicile in the stuff
7) Buy LOTS of magnifying glasses and gather all the kids in the neighborhood for a little science experiment
8) Go to the pound and adopt an anteater (they're domesticated, right?)
9) Fly our house into space, get dangerously close to a black hole, and let the gravitational field suck them in, FOR - EV - ER
10) Go talk to their leader and try to improve relations between ants and humans (we call this the Obama Plan)
11) Make them listen to commentary by Stuart Scott
12) Have them watch the Notre Dame football team's offense. By the time ND gets a first down (the third quarter) the ants will have lost interest and left the house to find the Ball State game
Well, these are our options. We think they are all pretty solid ideas and one of them is bound to work. The one thing that we have that ants do not (besides opposable thumbs and an endoskeleton) is the ability to think critically and analyze. Our intelligence is our only ally here. Wish us luck.
5 comments:
call me an eternal pacifist, but i believe the "obama plan" sounds to be the most sensible. i mean, why resort to such atrocities when you can just talk to them and reach an understanding. 79% of people approve of obama, i'm sure that reflects the feelings of the ant populus. leaving only 21% of them to deal with using harsher measures.
Are you surmising we kill people who don't like Obama? Or does the analogy stop with the ants? I, too prefer nonviolence whenever possible
oh heavens no! i'd have no family left. i'm just thinking that (maybe) 4 out of 5 ants want change.
however; if anti-obama peeps invaded your home, i'm sure the laws in texas would allow you to do whatever is necessary to get rid of them. if you so desire.
btw, sophie loves that eisley video, she keeps asking me to play it for her. i really like it, too.
Oh, I see. I am glad you and Sophie enjoy the video. I will try and put some more good ones up.
Those are all excellent suggestions and only confirms our superior intelligence, although for the life of me i can't figure out how 10 ants carry a giant grasshopper on their shoulders. Here are a couple more suggestions in your fight.
1. Since Plexico Burriss is out of work, hire him and his gun and say "go for it".
2. Bring in some seagulls and ask them for a re-enactment of their famous ancestors cricket thing.
3. Remove all sugar and sugared products from your house and you will go so nutting you will start eating the ants.
4. Since they are Texas ants you should stake a large OU logo in your yard and they will swarm to devour it out of pure anger for the BCS snubbing of anything longhorn.
Just some thoughts.
P.S. Sophie and the eisley video she likes??!!! Please let her watch an Eagles video and see true greatness.
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